The Art of Being Known

What motivates you to enter into a conversation about “the rest” of a person’s life? On average, how long do these conversations last?

Are we driven by morbid curiosity, a relationship or angle to be exploited

or have we progressed to the point where we simply a desire to better know someone whose life intersects with ours?

Performance -vs- Relationship

Performance is a constant balancing act between exploration and execution. Unfortunately, many of our problems have very short life-spans. These temporary pursuits may drive us into a belief that we have little time for people-development. In our strong desire to make quick work of a problem, we sacrifice connection and thoughtful mentorship on the altar of a tidy checklist.

While a large part of management is moving the needle, an even bigger part of leadership is asking whether we are looking at the right needles. If our needles don’t support a significant portion of our time spent guiding learning in our people, we are failing to plan for the future.

Knowing and Being Known

Why is it so satisfying to be known by others? Curt Thompson, M.D., author of “Anatomy of the Soul,” states it this way explaining the connections between our brains and relationships:

Comprehending all of this begins and ends with understanding the difference between knowing and being known. Knowing is an activity of the mind that keeps the “knower” separated from the fact, idea, object or person s/he knows. Such separation is not so bad for facts, ideas or objects, but it is bad for people, who are meant to be known at a deeper level. Being known requires an availability, vulnerability, and trust of the person knowing you. It requires an understanding that there is no such thing as an isolated mind, and that life will only be full of joy, courage, kindness and security to the extent that one is engaged, known, and understood by another, especially by God.

When we allow ourselves to be known, a couple key things have happened in our relationships…

When we experiment, make a mistake and are accepted, we trust.
When we trust, we become vulnerable.
When we are vulnerable, we are known.
When we are known, we are willing to know… we are connected.
When we are connected, we are a force.

How are you doing at turning your collection of employees into a force?

I’m trying everyday to improve in both my personal and professional life because the value is clear and the principle is as solid as the book in which it is written.

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